Autumn
A golden sea
Softly falling downward
Flowing gracefully through the air
Alive
This is a cinquain I wrote based around the topic of how lively everything looks in autumn. This cinquain follows the standard 2-4-6-8-2 syllable structure. Similar to the nonet, I really like how the poem ends with two syllables, providing a distinct and precise way of closing the poem, allowing you to sum everything up in one or two words. Also, since this form both starts and ends with two syllables, you can connect the opening and closing lines quite effectively. I decided to set it up so that the first line followed directly by the last line sums up the entire message of the poem (Autumn: Alive), while everything in between acts as imagery and description. There's a metaphor used in line 2 (A golden sea), which describes the mass of yellow and orange leaves that fall in autumn.
Great cinquain? or is it a quatrain, not too sure but I do like your consonance in your first and last line. the words "Autumn" and "Alive" agree with eachother in both the initial consonant and meaning.
ReplyDeleteI really like this poem Lewis. The imagery used here is very powerful, especially in the line "a golden sea". I like the alliteration used in the first and last lines. It helped tie them together for me. Great job!
ReplyDeletereally good job lewis!
ReplyDeleteI love how through your description, it was easy to picture the bright coloured leaves of Autumn.
The flow of the poem helped add to the smooth way in which the leaves fall from the trees at this time of the year.
i love it =]
I love this poem! I really like the way you connected the first and last line together. Very creative idea! I also like your way of using the metaphor 'a golden sea' to describe all the fallen leaves. Beautiful imagery of autumn. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteAwesome poem! You definately captured the way autumn appears. How its beauty is when the leaves fall and are multi coloured. It is when you see the most beautiful colours. Your use of imagery is awesome, I can just picture the leaves falling.
ReplyDeleteGreat work Lewis!
I really like how you described how leaves fall, but you never actually used the word "leaf" in your poem. The use of the word "golden" in line 2 really captures the scenery of Autumn, and makes it sound so lively! Well done!
ReplyDeleteI found this to be a very "vivid" poem! Good job! I really liked your use of imagery, and the metaphorical comparison of autumn to a sea. I thought the verb "falling" wasn't really a suitable verb for the sea though, maybe a different word would have been better.
ReplyDeleteGreat poem Lewis! You definitely did a good job in five lines to characterize Autumn and paint a vivid image in the reader's mind. I liked the repetition of words starting with "a" in the first line (Autumn) and the last (Alive). Excellent!
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